things i love about myself

My handwriting

My strong muscles

The dark of my hair, the color of roasted chestnuts in the winter

My dreams, always so vivid

The softness of the inside of my mouth

My eyes, mercurial. Sometimes green, sometimes brown, sometimes golden

The way my fingertips dip down into a fleshy point, the way the pads of my dog’s paws do

The way my heart flutters before seeing my friends or my family, or before a trip to the sea

The expansive stillness I feel inside when I enter a bookstore or library

The ability of my stomach to evoke a deep, empty well to alert me when it’s time for me to eat

The way my hair tells me it’s time for me to cut it by getting sparse and brittle at the bottom

How my my texts to friends are always thick with the words “I think” and “I feel”

My ability to hum. The way that humming clears the worries from my brain like the sun evaporating marine layer

My porosity for the world around me. Except for when the bad stuff gets in, too

My capacity to relinquish all control of my limbs to the sea until I am horizontal, floating. My ability to surrender

The way I can make people smile and laugh in two languages (call it three, if you’re laughing at how bad my German is)

The way my insides turn to honey when I see live music, or a little green bug making its way across the edge of my palm, or my parents’ smiles after a long time away from home

The way the honey, golden and warm, climbs from my chest up into my throat, working its way to the backs of my eyes. Until it eventually spills out in hot, heavy drops

The way it’s spilling over now